I post. I instagram and I am proud of my body. I’m not fast or elite and I honestly can’t tell you why so many people follow me. I KNOW there are haters. It’s okay. I put myself out there for that. I have goals, small and big ones. I have tips that I don’t mind sharing. If what I do can help one person become more confident in their running, fitness or healthy lifestyle than I feel like blogging and instagramming is worthwhile.
When I started this whole “Jess Runs Blessed” thing, there were snickers, there were people who asked me “why?,” there were people who thought I was “attention hungry” and “crazy.” Crazy, yes, attention-hungry, a little bit, if I’m being honest. But the reality is, I love to talk about running and fitness. I love to help others, I want everyone to be their best selves and I know not everyone wants my posts blaring in their mainstream feeds. I feel truly blessed now.
It’s funny because I didn’t always feel that way. I used to be faster and that’s okay. My body was a little different but I don’t have a wow transformation like some. It’s been a little bit bigger, a little bit softer but never more than 10 lbs variable (outside of pregnancy). In my 20s, I was in a relationship where I was told I was fat, that I was unworthy and unattractive, so many awful things about my appearance, and I believed it all. My insecurities were countless and it was easy to break me down. Those that knew me would not describe me as assertive or confident. It actually took that relationship ending (and the reason for it) for me to realize that I deserved better, that I wasn’t ugly, fat or unworthy. I realized that I was just in an unhealthy relationship.
Thankfully, I came to my senses and ever since have worked on my faith and worked on loving myself so that I can love others to my best ability.
Proverbs 19:8 “To acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.”
Currently, my older sister is losing weight and succeeding. I see her success and it brings joy to my heart. I feel like she’s finally loving herself enough to take the reins of her life back. I feel the same way about a good friend training for her first half marathon. I’m so stoked for her to accomplish her sub 2 goal.
So whether you are a hater or not, I hope you consider your thoughts or words the next time you scroll past one of my posts. And if you don’t like me, just ignore. Because your hate is a projection of your insecurity about yourself. And insecurity is an ugly place to be. Trust me, I’ve been there.